Let’s start this article out by ensuring we’re all on the same page: I fully-realize that “hate” is a strong word.
However, I’ve given this enough (too much) thought and I’m fully-confident that the emotions I feel are justified: With that out of the way, I would like to confidently declare that I HATE Dorit Kemsley. Let me also state that I probably despise myself even more than I hate Dorit for admitting that I expend any energy disliking her. Now may we count the many, endless ways that I hate Dorit?
If you’re at all familiar with the Real Housewives, you know that a large part of reality series’ draw is the wholly ridiculous lifestyles and petty behavior. At times, it’s fascinating from a sociological standpoint, but most of the time the housewives requires much less brain power than that.
The vast majority of time, you’re mostly sitting in awe of the ignorance, complete lack of awareness, zero empathy, as well as how far many of the Real Housewives have strayed from living, breathing “real” human beings that we all begin to wonder whether we’re all of the same species.
Why I Hate Dorit Kemsley (Let Us Count the Ways)
Even with the extremely low expectations set by Real Housewife behavior, Dorit Kemsley somehow lowers the awful bar so far that it drops that pole-dancing bar into the depths of hell. Her behavior and logic breaks your brain so much that you find yourself unconsciously pulling out your own hair and yelling at the TV (even though you love your TV).
Needless to say — but I’m going to say it because I like saying/typing it — I hate Dorit because she merits being hated. Here’s a handful of the major reasons.
1. Her Bullshit Accent I don’t know how her fake accent isn’t brought up more or isn’t a perpetual storyline. God knows that they’ve stretched out much more boring storylines throughout a season, so not sure where Andy Cohen’s head is. Or maybe the pretension is so at the brim that this is the new normal for them.
Anyways, Dorit speaks with some form of a weird take on a British accent despite not being British or having lived abroad for any sustained amount of time that makes adopting an accent even somewhat believable.
Right. Actually, not right. Bullshit. See #6.
2. Dorit is Clueless and Unaware of any feelings outside of her own. We have dozens of housewives that have passed through the series so there hasn’t been a shortage of horrible people that saw nothing deeper when they looked in the mirror.
Some of those housewives were purposely unapologetic about their selfishness, others were somehow charmingly ignorant, but Dorit somehow transcends these two categories that her complete lack of understanding falls into a category of her own — if you’re reading this Dorit, that’s not a good thing. .
Anytime there’s even a slightly negative situation that Dorit is involved in (and there’s a lot), her face looks as she’s been completely blindsided (and extra-slappable). That’s because Doreeet can’t see the situation outside of how she experienced that situation.
Let’s put it this way, Dorit would punch someone and complain about how much her fist hurt afterward. Not just that, but…
3. Dorit Can’t Admit Fault and blames others. Ad nauseum. To make things worse, Doreeet refuses to look at any of her actions to see how it may have been problematic, but instead deflects and justifies. A la when she said shitty things about Lisa Vanderpump and tried to turn it around and pin it on Teddi.
You said those words, Dorit. Using the punch example from above, she’d blame you for not moving out of the way of her small precious fist or for walking into her fist.
4. Dorit Loves to Deflect And when the other housewives somehow keep Dorit on topic, Dorit deflects by swerving, changing topics, blame shifting or referring to how another housewife did the same thing earlier blahblahblah. Most any other normal human would be forced to reconcile their part in whatever petty discussion they’re having, but she blocks the criticism and blame and redirects that energy toward the person nearest her (or Teddi).
What’s extra infuriating about all this is that a) that she actually thinks these are good points that are applicable b) her deflections are completely transparent and c) that this is a full-grown women using tactics of a four year old that doesn’t know better. Period.
Based on the vast examples available that prove out #3 and #4, Dorit clearly needed someone to teach her how to take responsibility when she was THREE YEARS OLD.
5. Dorit is a Hypocrite In her perpetual state of deflection, Dorit gleefully contradicts herself all the time and is wide-eyed, taken aback when it’s all brought back up and used against her. All of it’s usually within a couple of days. Just wait for it. That’s because…
6. Dorit Talks Waaaaaaaaay Too Much without thinking or concern that no one else at the table has said a word in the last eight minutes. Eight minutes is a long time to sit and listen. I’ll try to keep this concise in a way that Dorit cannot by quoting Erika: “I say important shit, you say too much boring shit”. The keywords here are ” YOU SAY TOO MUCH BORING SHIT.”
In other words: shut the fuck up, Dorit. You’ll be less horrible for it.
7. Dorit is Spoiled I mean, all the Housewives are spoiled in terms of comfort and lifestyle and a good chunk of their behavior falls into this general category, but Dorit again, stands out. Dorit again lowers the bar because she acts and behaves like a spoiled child when she can’t get her way. The most recent example was when she tried apologizing to Lisa Vanderpump, but ended up straddling her, disallowing her to leave and forcing her to listen/accept her apology.
It’s all about Dorit’s needs to resolve in that moment and she doesn’t care that LVP wasn’t ready or wanting it. Not surprised.
8. Dorit is Pretentious Beverly Hills is probably the most pretentious of the all the Housewife franchises, and the fact that it features super-pretentious (but semi-likable) Lisa Rinna, Dorit takes it to the next level.
Drink the stupid champagne out of a wine glass you fucking asshole. And if you don’t want to, don’t be a disrespectful jerk by bringing it up as an issue at someone else’s gathering at their house. Oh, you did already? Of course, you did. Because the only special nights that matter are the ones in which you’re the focus.
Don’t forget to bring up how you and Boy George are so very close!
9. Dorit Can Dish It but she obviously can’t take it (or very much or it). For example, when Camille brought a ball gag as a gift after Dorit chastised Camille for not being able to take a joke about a drunken mention of a “Camille strap-on”. And that’s not mentioning the same gag gift she gave to Erika during the stupid, made-up “pantygate” storyline.
Dorit also can’t handle the Housewives poking for not drinking alcoholic liquid out of the right glass. In my best Dorit British-Aussie accent: Oh c’mon, take a joke Dorit!
10. Money Defines Dorit and that’s it. She’s pretends to be a respected business woman, but she’s nowhere like Vanderpump, Kandi Burress, Eileen Davidson, Lisa Rinna, Bethany Frankel, Erika Girardi, or Kyle Richards.
These women are/were self-made or leveraged their fame/money to become something more, but with Dorit, she’s content with where the married money got her. She uses money to justify her horribly selfish, spoiled rich child behavior and any success she has isn’t because of hard work, but because she can throw money at it. Any party or vision can be a reality when you’re not on a budget.
Let’s be clear, she’s where she because of her looks and hasn’t turned PK’s resources into anything else outside of affirming that because of money, she’s better than others.
11. She’s Fought With Everyone: Again, it’s not completely rare when one housewife has a problem with the rest of the ladies, but it’s not commonplace. There’s only a handful ofhousewives that have fought with every cast member over a couple seasons, so you know you’re extra-terrible when other pretentious housewives used to their warped reality dislike you. Dorit has now had issues with every housewife on Beverly Hills: Vanderpump, Rinna, Kyle Richards, Teddi, Erika, Eileen, and even “friend” Camille. The common denominator? Everyone else, of course!
You can add me to that blame-list (and growing list of commenters). I’ve really disliked Dorit for some time now, but her recent behavior during the “‘gag’ gift” episode was especially inspiring. There’s just so much more to disliking Dorit and I’ll continue adding to this post when the next episode airs — I’m certain she’ll continually surprise me with more reasons. Dorit Kemsley is a very special housewife. #beverlybeech #dor-idiot