The next thing I knew I was at the beginning; having spent a couple hours scrolling backwards through hundreds of fascinating, angry, hilarious, soul-baring, gender bending posts. I checked the site a couple more times over the next several months.
Last night I happened across the site again and noticed calloutqueen hadn’t been updated since March 2012. Minutes later I discovered that Mark Aguhar, the person behind the blog, had committed suicide.
I was really, really sad to hear of their passing. I never knew Mark personally, but I had a huge respect for her intelligence, confidence and creativity. Thinking about her taking her own life weighed heavy on me.
Aguhar was rare in that she had such an acute awareness of all the things that made her an outcast, and considered unattractive. More importantly, Aguhar was so attuned into the bullshit reasons why, so was able to articulate and make sense of her emotions – for better and worse.
Empowered with that knowledge, she often wore her unnormal with pride, in fact Aguhar ferociously fought against expectations of beauty via race, size, gender, and sexuality, and confidently expressed it in a humorous, heart-wrenching manner. Rest In Peace, Mark.